Pyaare Deshwasiyon,

Pyaare Deshwasiyon,

What are you all wasting your time on, today?  Are you still talking about Satyamev Jayate and pretending to care or have you switched to your regular stock of porn, lately? Your maid showed up today? No? Sad. Did you update your facebook status today and counted the number of ‘likes’? Did you like your own status and commented, ‘thanks for the ‘like’, Sakshi’ .I’m sure you have.  How did you come across as cool, among your peers?  Dinner pictures at Maurya? Very cool. Did you tune in to Nirmal baba’s samagams? No? Your life’s a waste. We live in a country where Karishma Kapoor goes on national television and claims that the only way pregnancy changed her life is, skin pigmentation and dullness. Now I totally understand the teenagers who are so fucked in head that they download an episode of Splitsvilla if they happen to miss it. If you ask me, there should be a qualifying test for parenting, if you pass that, you’re allowed to have kids. There’s no other event as life changing as delivering a baby, you get to nurture the goddamn kid, build his character, teach him right and wrong, make him aware of good and evil. Tell him to shut the fuck up and study to serve his country. But, no, the only way your life changes, reflects in your stretch marks, fucking pigmentation and change in your already fucked statistics. Either you are mentally dead or blind or both. I mean, look at us. We are so screwed. We take such things for granted and take shit like Facebook seriously. When will we grow up and atleast accept our flaws? How will we ever evolve as a society, nature too, it seems, has given up on us. Anyway , moving on.  The more critical issue that needs immediate attention is, I cannot decide what is more pathetic, Bol Bacchan’s trailors or Priyanka Chopra’s Garnier commercial.  Also, I have realised and accepted the fact that it is easier to fool people than to put some sense into them. And the only way to make it big in this country is getting into a business of fooling people. Nirmal baba. Ramdev. Asharam Bapu. And likes.  I may also, predict the end of the universe in some random year, say, 17 Oct 4009 and scare the shit outta people living in that era. Just like the Mayans did. It’d be so cool. Anyway, don’t forget to tell your neighbour’s daughter that she shouldn’t wear those shorts. Afterall, you were born to interfere in others’ businesses. Just like goddess Parvati, she was born to marry Lord Shiv. I mean, beat that shit. She was just born to marry. These stories mock themselves. But who cares? Let’s go back and login to our virtual alternative and let others know what we had for breakfast. Cool?

Yours,

You-know-who