Changing the sock thingy

All my life I silently felt the whole cleanliness thing is futile and a lot more hardwork  and fairly troublesome.Imagine getting up and taking shower every day, every single day, washing hands before and after meals,I mean viruses are smart they have other routes to the host's body.. and n number of such  tiring tasks.I could never understand why would one have to change socks everyday? they're such harmless commodities, at the most they'd stink, what were deos invented for? you don't have to go through the whole 'changing the sock everyday' thingy.And why do we have to match 'em with its exact pair, can't we pick up 2 random socks of differing size and color and just pair them up and wear? I mean as long as you're an atheist (don't visit a temple) and not a scientist , why would it matter? And why would you freaking bathe everyday? Once I convinced my mother that bathing changes the pH of the body :D and I saved myself for a day, but alas my father knows science :| . So the point is, I had this ideology for 20 years now,till today. I got up and smelt like a rotten egg. And 3 layers of clothing on my body smelt like a government hospital.And I looked like Sunil Shetty. That was it, the moment when I decided to change my clothes everyday.May god be with me for this noble cause.The new year resolution.

No, not drunk

Its a new year!

Some 3 streets from my place, lives a samosa wala and his family, I was in the rajai and I had no idea, what instant of time it was in the universe, the next moment I hear very very loud music, I almost came back to life only to realise it was the song 'mere angne mein tumhara kya kaam hai....bla bla' turns out they were celebrating the new year.. dudeee I mean, are you ..THIS song ?  and the world around me was all into crackers and the facebook statuses read 'hhhhhhhhhhaaaaaaaaaaappppppyyyyyyyy nnnnneeeeewwwwwww yyyyyyyyeeeeeaaaaaarr' I now know why my lil sister cant spell words like 'assassination'.Why are my fellow earthlings so 'oh-my-god' 'oh-my-god' kinds.

Anyway, Happy new year !

 

The Truth Lied..

T’ was y’day itself, when we were so close, I could hear your heart beat, I could feel your breath.. I forgot the world in your arms, I’d lost myself in your eyes. It felt like we’ll stay that way forever, .. where then, in the folds of life ,did I lose you.. lose you forever.  I no more can feel your gentle touch, I’ve forgotten that warmth we shared, my limbs are cold, turning numb..my frozen fingers seldom move, the glitter in my eyes by your presence is lost forever, they’re pale now. I saw my entire life in your eyes, why then, did the truth lie? Why then, did your eyes betray? I’ve forgotten how it was like to love you, how it felt like when you were around, it is like forgetting the fragrance of flowers, the beauty of sun rise, the childhood bliss, the twinkling of stars. Why then, does the sun set? Why then, the twinkling of stars is just another illusion ? Why, Why does the truth lie ?

Open letter to Guys

All my life I enjoyed the 'female jokes' , how irrational and dumb creatures they are,  how shallow and stupid they can be, all this and more, is now a universally accepted fact and no more funny. So much so, I, the female even joined you when you hypocritically described how hypocrite women are. Did you ever care about the 'brain' part of the 'beauty with brains' crap ? Swear on your shorts, you ever did. Don’t you always fall for dumb girls? Did you ever care what women talk? swear on your favourite soccer team, you ever did. What makes you think you're cool ? just the fact that no one sexually assaults you at 3 in the night and you can hang out anytime you like, just because no one stops you to booze anywhere you like, just because you bunk abscond from classes for no apparent reason, makes you cool? You really think so? Do you ? Get off the I-dont-care-how-my-hair-looks thingy,the world knows you freaking do.I abhor doin’ this O’ guy, step down on your female jokes and hypocricy lest thou shall see the wrath. I mean c’mon man, cracking redundant clichéd jokes doesn’t make you feel like a moron, it doesn’t? Holy shit. Even an embryo, chuck that, even our professors would know women are hyperactive creatures, irrational, bad drivers, sadists and oh-my-god-I’m-so-cute kinds. Why on earth do you have to talk about it over and over and over (theres a reason for repeating it, and you know it). Dude, get over it. It is not humor any more. And get back to wasting your life playing the dude, who cares?

p.s. I respect the word 'bunk'.

The Mystery

There are some questions in life which remain unanswered, no matter how hard you try , no matter how hard you give yourself into it, and hereby i conclude they shall remain unanswered till eternity , for our lifetimes and for the next 100 generations to come.You feign disinterest, you try the don't-give-it-a-shit theory but everything, alas, turns out to be futile, it keeps coming back to you, over and over, in your dreams, in your sleep, while eating, while drinking, it haunts you, follows you like a shadow, one such question, my dear readers is, why does the microprocessor 8085 has an exceptional S fetch state,with bloody 6 T-states ? By this time, you must be underestimating my plight, but mark my words, its like bermuda triangle, you cannot ever seem to answer the mystery behind. This question has been haunting me, since 6 months now,but it almost seems like haunting me and my ancestors since year 0 of space and time, in all my exams, vivas, theory classes, every freaking time. Vivas are a serious shit in one’s life,this was the only question I ever understood in a viva but sigh I never found the answer out, rest of the questions were alien.This is how my viva goes everytime,

Examiner : What is @#$%^^&*&!@#$%^ *rocket science*

Me : Umm..actually Sir..basically , you know, it's like..ahem..aa..*Can I tell Submarine science?*

Examiner : Forget it. ok tell me what is @#$$$%^&#$%^&**more rocket science**

Me :  *Pretending to think reall hard* It just slipped off my tongue..Shit.. Sorry sir K

Examiner : *Smiles  shamelessly at our misery * Giving you a look which is deep , says everything.He opens his mouth only to say, 'it's done, leave'.

P.s. I know this is shallow, but since I respect what I write,had to post it. True story.

The marriage drama

You'd want to undergo a sex change operation if you happen to be a female with an

Indian nationality.Of all the things, I'm particularly talking about the 'marriage' part of it '. The very moment you hit 23 you're the burden-on-the-chest kinds,which parents try getting rid of by hook or crook.They'll start their search for an eligible groom, and announce in their entire social circle after which people poke their noses in someone else's life to add spice in their already uneventful life and get 'rishtas' for the girl. Parents want not less than an IIT, IIM combination; with sky touching salaries and a job in international bank to add cherry on the cake. obviously in phase 2 they settle for only an IITian , or an IIM graduate or just a job in a tongue twister sounding company.Now that they have a guy, he'll start looking like Brad Pitt to them and they'll try all ways to get their daughter hooked with him.Late night phone calls,uncalled for meetings, shallow talks are all accepted by parents in this case. Phase 3 is suffering, when everything has happened, and is the decision time, this is characterized by emotional blackmails, fights, irrational arguments, loads of tears and the final stage is the yes/no stage, which can cost lives.I hope the society gathers wisdom at a comparatively faster rate, also I don’t understand arranged marriages, at the end of the day, hes/shes after all, a stranger. Simple rule, if you’re sure you can spend your entire life with someone, get hitched, else stay single. And make sure you don’t need a ‘husband’ for your financial support, in that case, you’d have to marry a stranger anyway instead of staying single :|

p.s. I ain’t 23 :D

जो बीत गई सो बात गई

Harivansh rai Bachhan's poem, I have no words. Do you ?

जीवन में एक सितारा था
माना वह बेहद प्यारा था
वह डूब गया तो डूब गया
अंबर के आंगन को देखो
कितने इसके तारे टूटे
कितने इसके प्यारे छूटे
जो छूट गए फ़िर कहाँ मिले
पर बोलो टूटे तारों पर
कब अंबर शोक मनाता है
जो बीत गई सो बात गई

जीवन में वह था एक कुसुम
थे उस पर नित्य निछावर तुम
वह सूख गया तो सूख गया
मधुबन की छाती को देखो
सूखी कितनी इसकी कलियाँ
मुरझाईं कितनी वल्लरियाँ
जो मुरझाईं फ़िर कहाँ खिलीं
पर बोलो सूखे फूलों पर
कब मधुबन शोर मचाता है
जो बीत गई सो बात गई

जीवन में मधु का प्याला था
तुमने तन मन दे डाला था
वह टूट गया तो टूट गया
मदिरालय का आंगन देखो
कितने प्याले हिल जाते हैं
गिर मिट्टी में मिल जाते हैं
जो गिरते हैं कब उठते हैं
पर बोलो टूटे प्यालों पर
कब मदिरालय पछताता है
जो बीत गई सो बात गई

मृदु मिट्टी के बने हुए हैं
मधु घट फूटा ही करते हैं
लघु जीवन ले कर आए हैं
प्याले टूटा ही करते हैं
फ़िर भी मदिरालय के अन्दर
मधु के घट हैं,मधु प्याले हैं
जो मादकता के मारे हैं
वे मधु लूटा ही करते हैं
वह कच्चा पीने वाला है
जिसकी ममता घट प्यालों पर
जो सच्चे मधु से जला हुआ
कब रोता है चिल्लाता है
जो बीत गई सो बात गई

                                                  —   हरिवंशराय बच्चन

Quit pda,get a room.

The dry state, Gujarat

I've been spending few days here in Ahemadabad, it's a good city with wide roads, people with poor traffic sense ( I've realised I drive pretty good, thanks gujarat), helping people and that's pretty much it. Besides this the city is well lit and decorated considering the 'navratri' ,people here for 9 days perform garba and dandiya, more on that a li'l later. All those non-vegetarians who seldom eat flesh in these 9 days are clearly hypocrites coated with religion, i mean c'mon either you don't eat or you do and for the same, i coined the term 'white-hypocricy'.Coming to the traditional garbha and dandiya here, i watched people of all ages doing that, and honestly at first it looked stupid (my apologies, jigar) lately i realised how people taught each other, how people of all ages came together every night to do that, how no one laughed at anyone performing (unlike in Delhi, where aunties comment on any and everything with -0.1% of knowledge whatsoever) i enjoyed their spirit of togetherness, unitedness.
p.s. more on why am i here, later.
signing off,
ciao

**

Every odd day, I pretend to be strong
yet again, on the square one I am.
Every odd day, the storm becomes the breeze,
yet again, the catastrophe spares no piece,
Every odd day, my wounds heal,
yet I bleed, I bleed, I bleed.

My first hindi writing

न मस्जिद ने बुलाया है
न मंदिर कभी पुकारेगा
इस रंग  बदलती दुनिया ने
मुझे काफ़िर कह ठुकराया है |

My first hindi writing , I donno how, while watching the Ayodhya-Babri thingy it occured to me. Next thing on my to-do list, work on my hindi vocabulary.

An open letter to my college's director

Respected DG,
actually screw that..
I just dropped in to throw light on certain issues, I may post this letter to you personally , now I understand you've absolutely no technical knowledge of anything whatsoever considering you're the director of an engineering institute you need to know things and take the necessary actions, to begin with.. Shut up, something about your voice or frequency, the pitch ..perhaps the modulation isn't really right or probably some fault with the vocal chords or something , secondly, you know what, the way you mint money  from us is making my dad eligible for the minimum daily wages offered by the government for all of the 365 days of the year, we're soon hitting the BPL.. coming to the point, our labs, to be precise VHDL (verilog hardware description language, assuming you obviously wouldn't understand that this is one of our core subjects), Control systems lab, telecommunication systems , suck , yes they do.. frustrate me , irritate me and instill suicidal tendencies in me when your employees, our faculties expect everything outta those trash and exhibit hypocricy shamelessly (with no visible sign of guilt, in fact tending towards sadism) these labs are like traffic rules of Uttar Pradesh, the traffic lights donot work, just like our faulty apparatuses (actually,non-working), theres just one difference people are not expected to follow the lights, since they dont work.. but we, on the other hand are expected to produce output from somewhere, its like expecting a dead nitingale to sing(beautifully).Believe me my father is no Tata and there isn't a scope of me marrying one, I cannot pay lacs for this crap and the hypocricy that follows. Cut it off. Also, I understand it'd have taken a lot to reach where you are today, bribes.. sources.. fake degrees..and hence your desperation to display your powers is almost justified but do you think before doin' something unreasonable ? or are you like our country's politicians? What on earth were you thinking when you closed all the entrances to our department since we were late? don't you think cwg, ayodhya drama, traffic, rains have done enough damage already ? (to our brains, mental stability.. actually I'd write another post for this) that you come into the frame and shamelessly exhibit your 'I-am-the-boss' thingy. Grow up, you're just growing older.. or simply pretend to be philantrophic and resign.
Thanking you,
sincerely,
Nikita

p.s. Nothing against the games, I happen to use exaggeration as a tool for humor.

Ssup ?

All these days I've been mentally dead like a soldier on the battle ground, and hence haven't written anything. lately my lifes turning like an Ekta Kapoor's soap, you skip 800 episodes and the story (the pseudo story ) remains there.Sigh. I had my exams.. and obviously i didn't study, and they went fairly bad. To hell with that. There's a more serious issue in magnitude.. my net doesn't work :(  and hell I've discarded paper as a medium to write..I feel lame ..
How is life treating you?

Professors

Reader, suppose you're an idiot .And suppose you're a professor, oh sorry I'm repeating myself. How,then, would you torture your students ? Will you watch 'em cry for attendance ? Or will you make some Basanti dance for one mark ? Or will you take extra classes for 2 attendance, which are worth a million, and teach shit making students wanting to commit suicide or would you personally like to kill 'em using the conventional ways? or would you use your bad grammar for the same? Oh wait, probably the clothes you wear help? what say? I mean c'mon you wear flourescent flashy eye crackling material which brilliantly serves your purpose, doesn't it ? You may also flaunt your pseudo technical skills which aren't even worth a penny.Aren't you supposed to shape the country's future ? So what's the shape like? uh hold on, how about the project thingy?.. just donot approve whatever they present before you, rip them off , make them take thousands of print outs, everytime detect a new and irritating error , for instance, some punctuation error? like a misplaced fullstop or a comma ? You do know, you don't know a thing about technology and that's how you landed up here and your career sucks, don't you? but that's not the point, doesn't matter even if you're getting paid to produce bulks of good-for-nothing, technically incompetent engineers. Obviously you've had your bad phases in life and we all know how difficult it'd be for you to vent out your frustration at home.. what are students there for? kill them-abuse them-tear them apart, you'll feel better :) And seriously don't you enjoy watching people getting debarred for short attendance.. eternal bliss, ain't it ?  You guys are sadism personified. Hats off.

Voilence causes silence

Certainly voilence causes Silence
Silence of the corpse, of condolence, of chocked pity and charred existance
of gory fleshes and dry bushes.
 A silence which kills; Love, Anger, Hate, Woe, Fear.
A silence deep as ocean, a silence which shouts..
Do we all really need the division? the boundary? A country ? A religion ?
Can we forget the goddamn region, religion,language for a while and aid the lad
sans his limbs in his plight ..?
Certainly when voilence causes silence,
it engulfs us all

Thank you, Blog

Hello blog,
how have you been ? I just love and respect the way you listen to my random gibberish without saying a word, without judging me, without telling me to stop bugging you, without telling me you don't want to talk to me. Blog, promise me you'll never say that. Will you? Why is the line between the white and the black seems so hazy ? You know what, I'm turning into a misanthrophe.I just don't like talking to human beings, as soon as I open my mouth to speak, either I'm mis-interpreted or I mis interpret what they say, the wavelengths never match.Blog, I love the way you donot judge me, the way you donot tell me to shut up. The way you donot feel bugged everytime I come back to you.Thank you for being there. Thanks for the tolerance.
Nikita

My Driving Skills

Sucks. But considering I belong to the 'female' homo sapien species, it matches with the universally accepted fact and it's okay.Coming straight to the point, here are the problem areas, listed-

1. Pedestrians - I really fear 'em.Now I understand the importance of Zebra crossings.While driving on Indian lanes,you'll encounter a kid chasing his ball or a kite unaware of the fact that it's the freaking main road, or an uncivilised cow, or random people trying to commit suicide.(I almost killed a pedestrian once-True story)
2. The bad bad reverse gear - I simply cannot use this gear, the right-left steering calculations, the rear view and manual looking-back mis-match, contribute to the same.
3. Busses and trucks - They don't even fit in the rear view mirror and shit scare me. As if a dinasaur is chasing an ant :(
4. Heavy traffic areas - Considering it's not my car and I cannot repay the amount,in case of a damage, for the next 43 years,I choose to stay away.
5. Parking - Once I banged the car against a wall, while parking..I felt sad for the car and dad. I cannot get the parking calculations straight.

I don't want to quit, Please be my driving instructor . Anyone ?

When I think everything on this planet is insignificant and people don't. Everything gets screwed up.
You understand what I mean ?

स्वतंत्रता दिवस

I am a proud Indian and despite everything else I'd always be. Every Independence day instills great positivity in me, and every year, as I understand and explore things my respect for our freedon fighters and our country's military increases exponentially. I mean, come to think of it, people like Bhagat Singh wanted our country's freedom even at the cost of their lives.Imagine.We were born free and we don't even cherish the idea of independence, we don't even respect the fact. We don't even have to fight for our rights, our constitution is almost flawless, catering every section of our multi-cultural, multi-religious, multi-lingual country.Ours is a country where wisdom found its place before it could, anywhere else in the world*.As free Indians we're indebted to those martyrs who sacrificed everything for the country. The other day I woke up at 7 to watch PM's live speech, there were 3 highlights-
1. Optimism.
2.  'we'll talk to Pakistan to resolve Kashmir issues'
     'we'll talk to maoists to resolve issues'
     'we'll talk to naxalites to resolve issues'
3. His hindi sucks.
4. He's cute.(I donno why while he was delievering the speech, I felt bad for him, for some unknown reason)
There were kids, in saffron, white and green T-shirts and caps, they were instructed to clap everytime the PM said 'we're trying to resolve the issue of inflation', he also talked about our very own commonwealth games, suggesting we should celebrate it as our national festival :D .The Red Fort, yet another time played a silent witness to our 63rd independence, it's beauty transcended time and space.Lets for once cherish those ideas, respect the national flag, our national anthem, our rich history, our unity in diversity, our democracy, our fundamental rights.Everything, for complaining is futile, we are at fault, not the system, not anyone else.We bribe 'em , we commit the crimes, we blissfully ignore our duties and blame 'em for taking the money, for not being able to catch the criminal. Any little we contribute makes a difference, and believe me it always does.
By the way, how many of us know/ have any hint about our fundamental duties ? Take a look

a) To abide by the Constitution and respect its ideals and institutions, the National Flag and the National  Anthem

(b) To cherish and follow the noble ideals which inspired our national struggle for freedom.

(c) To uphold and protect the sovereignty, unity and integrity of India.

(d) To defend the country and render national service when called upon to do so.

(e) To promote harmony and the spirit of common brotherhood amongst all the people of India
transcending religious, linguistic and regional or sectional diversities; to renounce practices derogatory to the dignity of women.

(f) To value and preserve the rich heritage of our composite culture.

(g) To protect and improve the natural environment including forests, lakes, rivers and wild life,
and to have compassion for living creatures.

(h) To develop the scientific temper, humanism and the spirit of inquiry and reform.

(i) To safeguard public property and to abjure violence.

(j) To strive towards excellence in all spheres of individual and collective activity so that the nation constantly rises to higher levels of endeavor and achievement.


* I'm talking about people like Gautam Buddha.
p.s. I'm one day late, blame my internet provider :(
 
A very happy Independence day to you all.

The Commonwealth games

Now that Delhi is hosting the Commonwealth Games,2010 everything is in a deep shit, starting with sub-standard constructions, corruption , hypocritic 'beautification' of the city and what not. A lot has been said (and nothing done) about these issues, one of my friends suggested, after the games the perpetrators must be shot to death.Honestly, I don't care. Guess what.. our monuments are dying a slow death with ASI's futile attempts to protect them, to hell with cannaught place, you want to beautify the city? make shameless insensitive people sit and teach them how to behave. Tell them to throw their shit in the dustbins, tell them the whole city isn't their urinal,  to STOP staring at girls and quit passing cheesy comments, now that illiterate, hypocritic bigots have coined the term 'honor killing' , slaughter the rapists and use the same term to explain,tell guys who cannot control themselves and go on touching every women, 'accidently' on the damned street to go home and watch porn instead, tell the women commuters of delhi metro to stop taking undue advantage of their uncalled for rights, tell people to bathe before boarding or wear a deo atleast.Educate them that our monuments are our national heritage, if they don't care where the fuck Shah Jahan buried his wife, tell them not to visit the monument again and for god's sake, let 'em know the monument walls isn't their frigging sketching book and scribble 'I luv u pinky' on pinky's wall.Give lathi men, some guns so they know what they are there for.Do this and Delhi is ready for the games.But alas the probability of Rakhi Sawant becoming a chess champion is higher :( 

** My first post with zero levels of exaggeration.

You're my poem, I'm your poet !

Somewhere far deep in the woods, I see the sun setting giving a majestic glow to the sky which looks like a bride. The dew makes the soft breeze cool, and I sink deeper in your arms like the moon immerses into the clouds. These heart beats are saying something, i donno what. Time moves slow..and the nature plays silent..
I thank the tiny firefly whose fragile glow brighten your eyes and sends a ray of ecstacy in me and the butterfly that romances with the fragrant flower, the twinkling stars who're the witnesses of our love; deep, sacred, chaste love while the night sleeps..

A letter to god

Dear God,
Ssup ? Assuming you're a very busy man, lemme start my rant.As I write this, I'm in an extreme state of trauma or prolly I'm in coma, just being able to write.I'm in a certain class hoping I could die of boredom, theres this bony female sans her spine,linguistically challenged,deprived of her teaching skills and we all doubt whether ever in her life she acquired any sort of technical education.It's a subject called digital circuits, a completely logic oriented subject and clearly females seem to suck at it (I take the pleasure of generalising).So heres a deal, take her off our eyes beyond our visible range and I/we start believing you exist.What say? Now I know people tend to over-estimate your 'powers', I  understand, people say you're just one,holy shit, you'll have to do all the work by yourself :( but you know what, you can just send her off  for a,say,a maternity leave? C'mon you're the god, you can do that :| Please make her voice frequency below or beyond the audible frequency range.Our throats are chocked,blood circulation reversed,eye balls rolling,some dying of breathlessness and the majority is suicidal.
Please help.
Yours sincerely,
Nikita

How to become a great lyricist ?

Music is one of the many things ruined by Man. Talking in context of hindi songs and their lyrics, I hereby furnish some tips to become a successful lyricist -
1. Close your eyes, pick up some random gibberish, consolidate it and woah! you have a song.
2. Try adding some senseless high frequency rap into it, make sure it doesn't mean anything (to match it up with the already meaningless lyrics)
3. If your target audience is between 12-33 years of age, add some meaningful abuses (they say it adds to the cool factor)
4. Make sure the singer sings it very slowly, it gives an illusion that the lyrics are deep and soul-touching.
(Note : Works well with female audience)
5. If the above doesn't work, assume evolution finally took place, increasing IQ of the masses.

Now that I've enlightened you with a very potential career option, Please suggest a song that I can hear for more than 13 seconds.

Why ?

Do you tell a flower, how fragrant it is ? The sun, 'you're too hot dude' ? A movie director that he's supposed to make films? Scott Adams, that his sense of humor is unparallel ? Do you tell my internet provider that hes an idiot, and his service sucks? Stephen Hawking, that he's a brilliant scientist ? Do you tell the Delhi metro commuters that they're insensitive? Do you tell an MBA he's good at nothing? Do you tell Nikita, how awfully she sucks at expressing her emotions ? No, because they'd all answer ' I know '. Then, why, Why do I need to tell you that I love you ? why do I have to tell you, what you are to me ? why defend or clarify things ? You fill a void in my life, you define me, do you not know I'm a mindless moron sans my language skills ? do you not know me more than myself ? why do I have to tell you that I do care for your emotions (even if they're irrational). You're a buffer, you pull back my strength whenever I tend to be weak.You understand some lies in my smile and the truth in my tears.You understand me without saying a word, how on earth could you misunderstand things ? No matter what, you'll be the same for me, forever, everything else fades away, you'll always be there inside.I'd love you always, Sameera.

Note: I'm straight.

Poems

I do/did write poems, most of 'em after 2 am and before sun rise, somehow sunlight suppresses my ability to think. eh anyway, here it is

In whom can they confide but me ?

I walk past the silent musical instruments ;

past the dead, the decaying , the grave ,

the slanders ; an opressed day without sun,

past the moonless nights , through the woods,

Towards a new dawn , towards the sunny days

and a new awakening.

- 19 July, 2009 2:35 am

I know it doesn't rhyme and hence probably doesn't qualify to be a poem , but rhyme and meaning in a poem to me is like Heisenberg's uncertainty principle, I cannot get 'em both simultaneously :|

Here's another :

I have a pen and a paper

to record the tremors of my heart;

the pains of love and the darkness of fate,

the guilt of abet and the heart's elation.

- 24 September , 2009 4:15 am

The college crowd

Past one week, life's been monotonously eventful, college re-opened :| same old drama begins ; classes, attendance, technically incompetent lecturers, their egos, students flaunting their 'cool' factor, pseudo university rules to mint money, insignificant details..Of all the odds, the one which annoys me the most is the fact that people still have unevolved wits.I don't understand their preposterous attempts of proclaiming the world that they're finally 'adults' by disrespecting our already 'on-the-verge-of-depression' faculty, I mean Can't I expect sense out of a 20 year old chap? Is it too much to ask for? Lemme enlighten you more, dear reader. Categories of college girls-

1. The indifferent- Characterized by Random smiles, misplaced hi's, usual teacher bitching and over excitement so much so that it looks as if the universe is gonna enter the 'big-crunch' in the very next nano second.Some in this category, are rumor creators, others spread..some, you can see are on their way to attain 'aunty-hood'

2. The make-up kit- Yes, I'm still talking about the girl types, they're always making visible efforts of figuring out in the mid of a lecture,before and after the lecture, if their kajal, nail paint, eye liner, eye shadow, hidden dark circles, cryptic accessories, religious 3 hour devotion to their 'out of the bed' look is well in place.Oh did I forget to mention, they'd tell every girl in vicinity that how ugly the girl's eyebrow looks, how bushy her hands are, in extreme cases they'll tell you how ugly your liver is (don't be surprised) or probably kidney.

3. The front benchers - No matter what, they can kill anyone for that seat; even rain, wind, volcanoes, hurricanes, tornadoes, floods,cyclones,earthquakes cannot move them.They keep a note of submission dates,deadlines, faculty cabin numbers, every little 'if' 'an' 'the' 'is' of the teacher's speech (who most of the times are linguistically challenged) , the color of the lab file covering sheet prescribed by the teacher, no really..once a girl woke me up at 3 am to ask what color is the file cover supposed to be- purple or orange and the worst part, she wasn't kidding. (True story)

4. The guy's girl - Day and night she'll burn you to death talking about her relationship, the guy, how he purchased her a heart shaped key-ring, and candies and shit.. she'll talk about the color pink, the term 'love', what she talked to him over phone, what she didn't, what she wanted to but the poor guy couldn't understand just by the looks of it, she'd talk about how she got hurt when the guy couldn't understand her subtle hints when she wanted to have strawberry blush at CCD and didn't want to state it explicitly and the guy couldn't figure out that she was angry.

(Please note I maybe hypo critical about this point)

5. The geek - They're rare, I usually like their sense of humor.

6. The bold and the beautiful - Yes, I'm generalizing , I don't care much. They usually do not talk to the masses, flaunt attitude..Do not interfere in other's businesses (I like this) and often they turn out to be Delhi girls. I don't have much against them as far as they do not contribute to the ever growing crowd in the Delhi metro.

Now about the guys, theres only one category

The jerks - As in, the majority (yes, offence)

There are other kinds too who play chess, talk sense, have an high IQ, fall for dumb girls, do not wear floral shirts and tees(floral) to college, who hate embroidered shirts, have a good sense of humor. I make myself believe they exist, haven't come across one. sigh.

What category do/did you fall in?

Note : The views are entirely personal and any resemblance to any person living is solely intentional and non-coincidental.

हम किस गली जा रहे हैं, अपना कोई ढिकाना नहीं

Your words haunt me every time ;

Can you leave me alone for some time?

Chikitsa ka chakkar

No, I ain't frustrated. I just cannot breath normally and I simply want to slay anyone I see next. But certainly, I ain't frustrated.I'm just cribbing randomly, you know. To begin with, I have a patient at home, and the people who come to visit the sick, make me sick ! Some 20 odd people visited my place today. Each with their own expert uncalled for, advice. T'was fun though, the diversity in people, people who'd their children below 5 years of age.. passed their time talking about the kid -making the kid sing songs, poems, making him repeat annoying sentences over and over, forcing 'em to wish people..and things, people above 60 years of age, mentioned the role of god in the 'surgery' and preached un-scientific ways of taking precautions.And people who were above 30 and had no children for entertainment talked about weather, global warming, India TV (the Ekta kapoor type ka news channel).. females on the other end feigned concern(wish they'd have done it a less obvious way) exchanged recipes, talked about their neighbour's second cousin's mother-in-law and how she died of the disease.This reminds me of Bedhab Benarasi's 'chikitsa ka chakkar', a vyangya katha I happened to read in my 10th grade.People are funny. Try observing.

...

I've been spending day and night in a certain cancer hospital for the past few days now , and there you just cannot shut your senses or act ignorant, I saw suffering personified there, masses in pain , where I re-realized nothing is larger than life (cliched, I know) .. everything else seemed so meaningless, so..small. I realised the importance of 'one' life.Today i

feel so void, so helpless.Wish I could contribute..

"I was unhappy that I had no shoes untill I met a man without feet"

Lets learn the art of shutting up.

It's just the heat...

To begin with, it's an important day tomorrow, and the day after, and the day after.Just wish me luck :) I haven't really written/posted anything since a week now, blame Delhi's heat,damn it cripples you, decreases one's intellect quotient, creativity, the intelligence quotient, restricts your thoughts and bla bla bla. So, this week has been futile (as usual) yet eventful.We recently visited the India Gate, and I loved every bit of it. I really felt proud that day (1. of the obvious fact , 2. my family finally chose India gate over the shitty malls) . It commemorates 90,000 soldiers who lost their lives while fighting against the British . Isn't that something ? So, we went there, ate everything we could -ice-cream, papad, bhutta (corn), gol-gappe, bhel. We bought 'gadgets' - LED horns, LED helicopters :D , but one thing that really pissed me off was absence of dustbins there. I mean, hell.. they've blocked roads and taken meaningless steps for the CWG , and they couldn't keep dustbins till the games at least ? How hypo critical. So I threw the garbage on the Raj Path (I couldn't keep the ice-cream wrapper in my pocket :|) my family calls me a hypo crite , since i keep throwing things here and there when at home. Upon psycho-analyzing myself I found randomness gets onto my nerves, it's like that piece of garbage when on road,would rest there for eternity and hence increasing the degree of randomness of the universe but when at home, there are characters who devote their lives to decrease randomness ( for example a 'mother') so, you understand? And probably for the same reason I prefer 'tandoori' roti over 'rumali' , for the later simply increases the degree of randomness in my plate. :| Lame ? I know :( . Please excuse me, it's just the heat :D

p.s I'd try and re-write this post in winters to measure my sanity.

It's funny how oddly unpredictable some people are, so much so that you can label them as patients of split personality disorder, it really takes a toll on me, a person behaving in a certain manner is totally a different freaking person the very next day ? They just don't seem to care how the other person would adjust to their extremes (if I may say so) . Have you ever come across such people? or are you one ?

The salwar kameez episode

Yes, I did wear it. A blue flashy shimmery shaadi material. People said I looked good. While i was wearing it, it felt like I'm burying myself so deep under the ground that I'll fail to respire :| and to add cherry on the cake, I was made to wear heels, I simply abhor heels more than anything else in the world, they'd have pencil heel, pointed, platform and what nots , heres why i hate heels

• High probability of a fall. (No, really)
• My legs pain as if I climbed Everest.
• Since pressure is force per unit area, for pointed heels, the area of contact is less and hence pressure applied is more and therefore you're screwed :|

So, in a nut shell I wasn't comfortable, which tops my priority but alas no one understands :( so I must look good and pseudo-taller, which I did.Any girl can look glamorous, all you've gotto do is stand still and look stupid, which again I did :D Anyway, now that I'm done with the cribbing part, I'll talk about the most difficult part , the struggle to look and act and behave, like a girl. So I was there, struggling with the 'dupatta' , the heel, you need to sit in a certain manner, walk in a certain manner, be with certain people.. but one thing I really liked.. children below 9 years of age and people above 70 years of age, they were really enjoying, they didn't care how they looked, what they ate, how to talk, they were so in ease with 'emselves , so at the end of the day I was happy the way things turned out, but I still wish, I had an alternate for the heel part.. damn it pains, it still does, wish I was taller. Maybe I'll invent something, someday.

My journey back to life !

Why do people marry.. and worse, why do they invite people over ? Damn, today was a very tragic day, a certain cousin is getting engagged today, good thing , but why am i supposed to attend that ? Attending wouldn't be an issue, if my mum wouldn't be after my life to visit a certain parlour (beauty salon), obviously i revolted back, I mean hell .. why am I supposed to look good, it's her wedding after all? But then mum got angry, and you know angry mum is immune to my flawless logics :| So I had to go there, as I enter, i see some oldie, she must be 70 or prolly above , bent with age, and wanted to get something done outta her, I couldn't guess until the beautician actually addressed her, from the looks of it, she wanted her make-over done (really) , I had to switch my focus, another lady was getting her facial done, and many more things to it, which I'm incompetent to state, and guess what she was pretending as if the entire process is spiritual, and shes sitting on some himalayan peak, getting enlightened. Funny t'was. And then came my turn, my mum told the lady to do something to my face, futile attempts to make it look good ( I always pity ignorant people) anyway, she began the process, it was called 'cleansing' .. she started with a gel sort of a thing, which I was sure would make no difference to anyone whatsoever, and then she applied a certain 'face pack' you know what they do ? they'd paralyse your face, let it enter the dis-abled mode, and they make the customer believe that this process is relaxing ( they hypnotize probably :D ) and whoa , it was done, took a century to complete, and as i guessed didn't make any difference :) but the people there made mum believe that my face was bloody glowing, I'm still searching the angle. woof ! and i got outta there, as this ends another story begins. I'm supposed to wear salwar kameez for the function today. Shit happens !

- would soon update whatever happened after the salwar kameez episode.

'To-do' list

Summers going on and these are the things I on my 'to do' list :

- Learn Urdu.

- Study world history

- Learn violin

- Read the Gita, Bible and Qur'an.

- Watch a couple of movies including the Matrix, Shawshank redemption etc.

- Start preparing for my M.tech entrances.

- Study some rocket science for my training.

- Re-read The Fountainhead.

- Work on my vocabulary.

And these are the things I did, err wait, the things yet to be done :

- Learn Urdu- I wanted to do this right after I saw this movie, mughal-e-azam , I always liked the language for it's versatility and grace.

- Study world history- I realized I knew nothing about Hitler and french revolution and everything that happened outside India and I'm ashamed of myself for that :|

- Learn violin.

- Read the Gita, Bible and Qur'an - Need to understand how god, religion and morality are linked.( Any views ? )

- Watch a couple of movies including the Matrix, Shawshank redemption etc.

- Start preparing for my M.tech entrances- It's high time now and if I don't I'm rendered homeless.

- Study some rocket science for my training- To be precise Fast adder ,Can anyone help ?

- Re-read The Fountainhead - Need to measure my emotional growth.

:D Please note, I've started working on my vocab, Norman Lewis-Word power made easy.

I'm happy today, you know that happiness ? you feel good and positive, and you don't really have a good reason. I have, though.. just met my best friend from school(back, then these things never mattered), and now i really wish those days come back again, no one else could fill that space in my life.The best thing is I can talk to her about anything without being judged, without pretending to be someone else.Hmm, I was losing myself and today i regained myself :) I lost myself somewhere interacting with the world, getting to know them, adjusting myself, trying hard to be flexible .. filling myself into those spaces, Damn ! Ain't it good when u rediscover yourself ? And the weather, ahh I loved the breeze and the greens ( they don't rhyme :( ) As I write this, I'm listening to this song, wavin' flag, the fifa anthem, makes me all the more happy. It sotta induces optimism and goodwill .

p.s. I hate myself for not being able to spell 'weather' , I checked diction :(

My technically challenged self !

Just for records, I’m a technology student, bachelors in technology that is. It’s funny when people tell you to choose your domain, which eventually becomes our destiny, at an age when we’re still struggling to fetch marks ignorant of everything else around us and later we realize those were one of the most important decisions of our lives and that we can do nothing about it. In those significant years of my life all I knew was, I loved sciences, they had boundaries, this is physics and this is not, this is biology and this is chemistry, they told us to stay within the boundaries I never understood why. I opted for science. Again they wanted us to take biology and enter medicine, obviously that wasn’t the case with me or the second option was non-medical..(for me) engineering ( or rather it looked like) like others I opted for pursuing engineering , and after an year in college, I realized what pure and applied sciences were, and that they were separate domains altogether ! worse I was pursuing engineering, the application of what we’ve been studying all our lives and I sucked at it . The fact that I was technically challenged and was a student of technology came as a huge shock. I mean hell , theres my sister some odd 5 freaking years younger to me, can repair radios, dvd players, television, and every other electronic shit under the sun and I, can receive and send texts, use the channel and volume keys on the remote control of the T.V. and can use the email option on the internet. Shit! Didn’t I have extra 5 years to learn/know more than she does? I wouldn’t regret my decision ever. But I may probably become a bad engineer L I may not be able to resolve issues I’m supposed to, but I’m not giving up at any cost. I know someday, somewhere I’ll make a difference, a contribution, don’t know how, don’t know when.

Thought of sharing this engineering preamble, I found somewhere on the internet :

We the unwilling,led by the unknowing are doing the impossible for the ungrateful.We have done so much for so long, with so little, we will one day qualify to do anything with knowing nothing.Be proud to be Engineers !!

:D

Home alone

I was (I still am) home alone since forever now, probably 2 weeks , lost the record. All this while, I've screwed up things, made my home a dustbin, made decisions , failed awefully , felt 'sincere', pretended responsible , acted matured , felt week-grew stronger and yes I did feel void. I always thought I was emotionally cold, and such things may never bother me, but then it does :| As i write this talking to nobody, saturated with television, staring at walls and sick of internet , I wish they were here :|

Life

I'm sad for a reason I fear to introspect. My initial years of life were fairly futile, exploring this world was quite a process. I grew up only to learn, what I had interpreted was all wrong, and I felt stupid. I didn't know there was a world beyond that garden, I didn't know every smiling face had another side to it, I didn't know flowers too are artificial and butterflies too, die. I didn't know then, happiness is material. I entered my teenage, thought I’d grown up, I understand life and people like others, had some difficulty adjusting, With myself, the way I changed, physically, biologically, psychologically, emotionally, I thought now I understand things and didn't listen to people, who claimed they care. And I fell prey to a couple of people/situations. I learnt ignorance isn't bliss. T’ was then that I decided to grow up, t ’was then that I promised myself that I’ll take care of myself and bring my life back on track , take initiatives , I resolved to be strong , I promised myself that I’ll never allow anyone to take my advantage., no matter what. I was all geared up with such thoughts, but as someone said, we promise according to our hopes and act according to our fears. That happened, one more incident, and I’m back to level zero. How’d one feel when a soothing light at the end of the tunnel turns out to be a freight train coming their way ? It was a pause more dynamic than motion, life had deformed me , and every passing day I kept changing, over the years I grew selfish, vice , turned into a hypocrite , became evil but so was the world , I was just being indifferent, trying to adjust. But one thing I learnt and know now that this is one life, you have a duty and probably the gift of living. You got to play your part and get back to the grave. You do not have the right to quit, escape or step back. Everyone is entangled with their own cob webs. I think I’ll manage to sail through, will you?

p.s. I know the ending is abrupt. Couldn't help it.

A Wednesday

Our anger takes us no where ; our minds does; our unitedness does. It's easy to be angry sitting in front of our television sets browsing news channels for yet another rounds of gory trials mindless killings and insensitive doings.A country with over a 1000 million population fell prey yet another time in the arms of death, cruelity, terrorism, injustice.We lost by a sheer group of thousand bigotic shitheads.. We cry together, sympathise , empathise together and move on. It's been an year since 26/11 ; for the survivors Life is still there ; the 26th of November, 2008.They could not move on like the rest of the masses did. We're in a habit of digesting the indigestible, the inedible.We've become our own rapists..for its easy to be angry on everyone, the government,the system, the democracy, corruption, terrorism but very difficult to feel unsafe and flush off what bothers us.Despite all this the least that is expected of a citizen is to vote, to voice an opinion, to raise a disagreement..and across the country except the metros more than 50% of people donot turn up for elections.Why are we supposed to talk of injustice then? Can we enjoy our rights without the duties? INDIA, is my country and I'll stand by it in the times of terror, in the times of grief. Will You?

-26 November 2009

Independence

My first memories of this word dates back to my 7th grade(or 8th) ,the history text, I didn't bother to know more.I was happy mugging up dates for our struggle for independence without giving it a thought.Since i have decided, not to play the blame game, t'was me and not the education system of our country which made my horizons soo narrow that i couldn't think outside the realms of that 200-paged book.I come to think of it today(not exactly), independence has a meaning beyond the texts. The word re-surfaced when i told my dad 5 years back to get a 5-star crunchy at 10 in the night, and blatantly he refused.. it was not a matter of life or death, although yet that was one of my earliest encounters with that feeling. And, i couldn't do anything about it. Nothing. Again, when my teen-aged self begged my parents to seek permission for a certain party and yet another time a 'no' without an explanation.Sheer incidents. Didn't matter much though, introduced me to this word 'independence' again. Driving gave me that physical independence i always craved for, I just didn't know in what form it'll come across .I wish i had lived in that pre independence era and get a first-hand experience (Second thoughts, no ..not at that cost :| ) Today, in introspection i realize i do not care much about physical independence. You grow up and the meaning of words change. As, i grew.. I wanted to be financially independent more than anything else in my life. Sometime back, i felt indebted to the entire world. Strangely, at 19 I was in a state of shock realising that i was still, after so many years of my existence, below the poverty line.Then, i looked around(no one seemed to care) and moved on. I had no preliminary degree in hand, with no scope/source to get a fake one. Subdued that thought, came back to my careless self. At present, i want emotional independence, no Tom Dick or Harry can control my moods, and induce other insignificant emotions. Nor, should they disturb my state of , what i call as 'shapeless ease' or stability. But alas, none of this happens , my li'l sister with a primitive brain can understand rocket science but Einstein too wouldn't have understood how the brain works, its hell difficult to control our thought processes.Of all the three kinds of independences I've encountered in my life, emotional independence is the most challenging one. A li'l time, a li'l evolution. And I'm sure I'll be able to control it. Till then I'm sorry for the people i'm highly dependent on, people i wouldn't want to name. But as my brother says, "And this too shall pass away.."

p.s-The incidents mentioned above can be pure fictitious (just wanted to convey the idea; I was never this materialistic :| )

-My friend helped me edit some parts, thank you S.

-I didn't bother to refer to the dictionary for spell checks. If i did make a mistake. Please ignore.

My Favs

Movies
Shawshank Redemption-good movie..watch without expectations(contemplate afterwards and google(used as a verb here))..whatever happens..DO NOT GOOGLE BEFORE WATCHING THE MOVIE.
The Silence of The Lambs-I am totally in love with(read am intrigued by) the breakout character(it is based on a book) or , as I like to call him, the protagonist.
Matrix-we take so many things for granted and everything that happens around us can have so
many different explanations also Eternal Sunshine of a spotless mind for the same reason (MATRIX provides a good model).
Goodwill Hunting-Matt Demon(deliberate) is god (deliberate)
Forrest Gump-Wondering why this features in my favs? Well..BAZINGA (google it)..It infact, does not..It is highly Overrated.
Notting hill-good dialogues, and don't you just love the way, they(the britishers) speak ?
If Only-saw just a few scenes..liked because of the above mentioned reason.

Current fav song-Fireflies.
Favourite Sitcoms-The Big Bang Theory,Two and a half men.
SitCom is Situation comedy and not situational comedy.

Amen.

p.s. All the choices mentioned above aren’t mine. I haven’t seen any of them, although my hypo critic self could state these , but I’m on yet another mission, mission honesty! These are my dear friend’s views. At gunpoint she made me write that misplaced ‘amen’ :

Science

To begin with, I'm a science undergraduate, back in school, when i wasn't keeping well and scoring bad*, the entire world told me to quit the idea of pursuing sciences, the idea of studying it.Every other significant,insignificant person in my life contributed to this debate,all with the same suggestion; Quit Science.How could I ? "Why not",they asked, I couldn't say "because i watch discovery, i like science" or prolly "because i need to know how stuff around me works,I want to study science" because this legitimate argument was inacceptable in all forms (for obvious reasons) I couldn't tell anyone that I loved every bit of it, i want to understand the world i live in, its might, the nature, its fury, and the fact that whatever happens has a reason, unlike something like existence of god (Sorry, couldn't help it).Btw this is one of the things on my mind these days , i need to get rid of this habit of talking about god under any inappropriate topic.Coming back, I wanted to learn. Every other detail about nature universe everything especially in that phase when i realized humans cannot know everything about anything. And my curiosity grew.I sucked academically* but that has nothing to do with my learnings (the world laughed,quitting it seemed a saner option,to them) I didn't regret.Then, my brother gifted me this book "Surely you're joking mr. Feynman" and i loved it again. It looked like a whole new world had emerged out of those odd 300 pages,Discovery internet books natgeo history every little thing contributed to my love and respect for science.It takes me off this world beyond the worldy webs, I stand in awe, feeling so small, like an atom.

"In order to be so perceptive about the meaning of a spot on someone's shoe, you have to ignore the solar system"

* By Central Board of Secondary Education standards

p.s. - prolly is a slang for probably ( Didn't feel like changing the word altogether)

- I don't have a record who wrote the quote (hence, no credits here)

- Just reali'z'ed , it doesn't take 's' for the word "realized".

To SG

So, here I am writing my first blog, wanting to do this since 48 weeks and 65 hours (Ok,that was random) Who inspired me ? This guy SG , all he told me is "start blogging" and after reading his blogs for 4.34 hours (not exaggerated) I'm quite influenced by his overall personality,he dares to dare.Dares to dream(which although rendered him jobless) and started up his own company (which doesn't earn :|) but the vision he has, his clarity of thought , and THAT clarity in his words.I couldn't figure out yet what was that,that kept me going, that one thing which made me read it all.Perhaps, the honesty? This guy is one helluva difficult person ( as I perceive, which may not be true for others), intimidating,blatantly honest (Yes, i'm still praising).

I chose to write blogs for certain reasons :

1. I can write.

2. As a measure to instill positivity in me, lets see.

3. To interact with masses.

4. To enhance my vocab (3 minutes back, I could not spell this word 'perceive' , horrifying ! )

5. To get rid of the SMS lingos , and thereby disrespecting literature (I like exaggeration :D)

6. And Yes, i can write :)