Behen Mayawatiji,
To say the least, I’m a huge fan of yours. The way you carry your classy ensemble is beyond any words and your chic haircut just adds cherry on the cake. How do you manage all this amidst all the Ambedkar park tamasha ? I’m sure it takes hours for you to choose a completely ill-fitted, bad-coloured salwaar-kameez , because, well, it’s rare. No one sells something that bad. Oh wait, Delhi does. But well, that’s your personal choice. You stand by it without fail, I respect you for that. But guess what else is personal ? Your Rs. 685 crores expensive personal dream in a country where 30% of the population lie below the poverty line. You know what else is personal ? The park’s dozen statues, which include yours and your parents’.I mean, hello? What were you thinking? You are the fucking chief minister of a totally screwed up state, you chose to be the leader? Be the leader. Are you not tired of your irrationalities already? I mean, c’mon. I say this as a fellow citizen who does not want to hate you but do I have an option? If at all you have any clue, what I am talking about. First thing tomorrow, go and put some sense into those men who are no less than hooligans on the road and call themselves, the policemen. I refuse to accept their behaviour. Teach them some manners? No ? Teach them the concept of mutual respect. No, they didn’t catch me for pda in the Ambedkar park. Seriously K Ambedkar park man, you ordered to cut down 6000 trees to build this park? Even Poonam Pandey becoming a nun, wouldn’t be *that* ironical. You know her? Wonder woman, she is. Anyway, since I’m just a huge fan of yours, I dropped in to tell you about the traffic fuck ups in Noida. Since, you don’t bother taking the road way and land on a especially made helipad in some random school in Noida, you obviously wouldn’t know. So the other day, when, you happened to inaugurate your dream project, per say, hours before your celeb-like-arrival, your corrupt officers were trying to cover their screw ups on the last minute by blocking the roads and disrupting the traffic for hours. How do you explain that? Who are we ? And what’s up with the Helicopter? Who are you ? Have you ever ever travelled on the Noida roads? Or are you always too busy with the embellishments? I don’t get it. You sanctioned a sum of Rs. 18 crores to combat encephalitis, after more than 400 children died in eastern UP and bloody 685 crores for that shit? Are you insanely out of your wits? I don’t think so. You obviously are an awesome woman, you know. An inspiration for many well.. whatever so, I’d want to enlighten you, since you are ‘The Mayawati’. I don’t do it for others .Here are the tips,
· Don’t let people call you, ‘Behen(ji)’ It closes a whole new horizon of dating men and stuff, you know?
· Next time you go shopping, take me along? Deal?
· It’s freaking 50 deg outside .Get off those full sleeves :o You want sensors?
· When you have no clue, where to spend all that extra black money, or the hard earned money by the taxpayers, again, contact me. I wanted a Lee shirt K
· Before dreaming something big like the disaster you just made, consult a psychiatrist. I ain’t kidding.
· Fire all your policemen. Or I’ll kill them on the road.
· Do something about the jams, roads, rules, heard these words? No? I don’t blame you. Schools in Uttar Pradesh K
· Have you ever travelled to Aligarh, benaras, Allahabad.. etcetera? You probably haven’t, these places have no free space for a helipad .Sad. Men there, need some psychiatric attention. Or just more copies of Playboy. Whatever. Next time, a shit happens to me, I turn into Damini of the movie, Damini. Makes sense? Good.
· Have you ever thought about developing the rest of Uttar Pradesh ? Or are you too busy presenting the winning trophy to Vettel ? Isn’t he hot ? I know.
· And well. C’mon marry now. J
Yours Loving,
A common man(woman) whatever
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