A letter to god

Dear God,
Ssup ? Assuming you're a very busy man, lemme start my rant.As I write this, I'm in an extreme state of trauma or prolly I'm in coma, just being able to write.I'm in a certain class hoping I could die of boredom, theres this bony female sans her spine,linguistically challenged,deprived of her teaching skills and we all doubt whether ever in her life she acquired any sort of technical education.It's a subject called digital circuits, a completely logic oriented subject and clearly females seem to suck at it (I take the pleasure of generalising).So heres a deal, take her off our eyes beyond our visible range and I/we start believing you exist.What say? Now I know people tend to over-estimate your 'powers', I  understand, people say you're just one,holy shit, you'll have to do all the work by yourself :( but you know what, you can just send her off  for a,say,a maternity leave? C'mon you're the god, you can do that :| Please make her voice frequency below or beyond the audible frequency range.Our throats are chocked,blood circulation reversed,eye balls rolling,some dying of breathlessness and the majority is suicidal.
Please help.
Yours sincerely,
Nikita

How to become a great lyricist ?

Music is one of the many things ruined by Man. Talking in context of hindi songs and their lyrics, I hereby furnish some tips to become a successful lyricist -
1. Close your eyes, pick up some random gibberish, consolidate it and woah! you have a song.
2. Try adding some senseless high frequency rap into it, make sure it doesn't mean anything (to match it up with the already meaningless lyrics)
3. If your target audience is between 12-33 years of age, add some meaningful abuses (they say it adds to the cool factor)
4. Make sure the singer sings it very slowly, it gives an illusion that the lyrics are deep and soul-touching.
(Note : Works well with female audience)
5. If the above doesn't work, assume evolution finally took place, increasing IQ of the masses.

Now that I've enlightened you with a very potential career option, Please suggest a song that I can hear for more than 13 seconds.

Why ?

Do you tell a flower, how fragrant it is ? The sun, 'you're too hot dude' ? A movie director that he's supposed to make films? Scott Adams, that his sense of humor is unparallel ? Do you tell my internet provider that hes an idiot, and his service sucks? Stephen Hawking, that he's a brilliant scientist ? Do you tell the Delhi metro commuters that they're insensitive? Do you tell an MBA he's good at nothing? Do you tell Nikita, how awfully she sucks at expressing her emotions ? No, because they'd all answer ' I know '. Then, why, Why do I need to tell you that I love you ? why do I have to tell you, what you are to me ? why defend or clarify things ? You fill a void in my life, you define me, do you not know I'm a mindless moron sans my language skills ? do you not know me more than myself ? why do I have to tell you that I do care for your emotions (even if they're irrational). You're a buffer, you pull back my strength whenever I tend to be weak.You understand some lies in my smile and the truth in my tears.You understand me without saying a word, how on earth could you misunderstand things ? No matter what, you'll be the same for me, forever, everything else fades away, you'll always be there inside.I'd love you always, Sameera.

Note: I'm straight.

Poems

I do/did write poems, most of 'em after 2 am and before sun rise, somehow sunlight suppresses my ability to think. eh anyway, here it is

In whom can they confide but me ?

I walk past the silent musical instruments ;

past the dead, the decaying , the grave ,

the slanders ; an opressed day without sun,

past the moonless nights , through the woods,

Towards a new dawn , towards the sunny days

and a new awakening.

- 19 July, 2009 2:35 am

I know it doesn't rhyme and hence probably doesn't qualify to be a poem , but rhyme and meaning in a poem to me is like Heisenberg's uncertainty principle, I cannot get 'em both simultaneously :|

Here's another :

I have a pen and a paper

to record the tremors of my heart;

the pains of love and the darkness of fate,

the guilt of abet and the heart's elation.

- 24 September , 2009 4:15 am

The college crowd

Past one week, life's been monotonously eventful, college re-opened :| same old drama begins ; classes, attendance, technically incompetent lecturers, their egos, students flaunting their 'cool' factor, pseudo university rules to mint money, insignificant details..Of all the odds, the one which annoys me the most is the fact that people still have unevolved wits.I don't understand their preposterous attempts of proclaiming the world that they're finally 'adults' by disrespecting our already 'on-the-verge-of-depression' faculty, I mean Can't I expect sense out of a 20 year old chap? Is it too much to ask for? Lemme enlighten you more, dear reader. Categories of college girls-

1. The indifferent- Characterized by Random smiles, misplaced hi's, usual teacher bitching and over excitement so much so that it looks as if the universe is gonna enter the 'big-crunch' in the very next nano second.Some in this category, are rumor creators, others spread..some, you can see are on their way to attain 'aunty-hood'

2. The make-up kit- Yes, I'm still talking about the girl types, they're always making visible efforts of figuring out in the mid of a lecture,before and after the lecture, if their kajal, nail paint, eye liner, eye shadow, hidden dark circles, cryptic accessories, religious 3 hour devotion to their 'out of the bed' look is well in place.Oh did I forget to mention, they'd tell every girl in vicinity that how ugly the girl's eyebrow looks, how bushy her hands are, in extreme cases they'll tell you how ugly your liver is (don't be surprised) or probably kidney.

3. The front benchers - No matter what, they can kill anyone for that seat; even rain, wind, volcanoes, hurricanes, tornadoes, floods,cyclones,earthquakes cannot move them.They keep a note of submission dates,deadlines, faculty cabin numbers, every little 'if' 'an' 'the' 'is' of the teacher's speech (who most of the times are linguistically challenged) , the color of the lab file covering sheet prescribed by the teacher, no really..once a girl woke me up at 3 am to ask what color is the file cover supposed to be- purple or orange and the worst part, she wasn't kidding. (True story)

4. The guy's girl - Day and night she'll burn you to death talking about her relationship, the guy, how he purchased her a heart shaped key-ring, and candies and shit.. she'll talk about the color pink, the term 'love', what she talked to him over phone, what she didn't, what she wanted to but the poor guy couldn't understand just by the looks of it, she'd talk about how she got hurt when the guy couldn't understand her subtle hints when she wanted to have strawberry blush at CCD and didn't want to state it explicitly and the guy couldn't figure out that she was angry.

(Please note I maybe hypo critical about this point)

5. The geek - They're rare, I usually like their sense of humor.

6. The bold and the beautiful - Yes, I'm generalizing , I don't care much. They usually do not talk to the masses, flaunt attitude..Do not interfere in other's businesses (I like this) and often they turn out to be Delhi girls. I don't have much against them as far as they do not contribute to the ever growing crowd in the Delhi metro.

Now about the guys, theres only one category

The jerks - As in, the majority (yes, offence)

There are other kinds too who play chess, talk sense, have an high IQ, fall for dumb girls, do not wear floral shirts and tees(floral) to college, who hate embroidered shirts, have a good sense of humor. I make myself believe they exist, haven't come across one. sigh.

What category do/did you fall in?

Note : The views are entirely personal and any resemblance to any person living is solely intentional and non-coincidental.

हम किस गली जा रहे हैं, अपना कोई ढिकाना नहीं

Your words haunt me every time ;

Can you leave me alone for some time?

Chikitsa ka chakkar

No, I ain't frustrated. I just cannot breath normally and I simply want to slay anyone I see next. But certainly, I ain't frustrated.I'm just cribbing randomly, you know. To begin with, I have a patient at home, and the people who come to visit the sick, make me sick ! Some 20 odd people visited my place today. Each with their own expert uncalled for, advice. T'was fun though, the diversity in people, people who'd their children below 5 years of age.. passed their time talking about the kid -making the kid sing songs, poems, making him repeat annoying sentences over and over, forcing 'em to wish people..and things, people above 60 years of age, mentioned the role of god in the 'surgery' and preached un-scientific ways of taking precautions.And people who were above 30 and had no children for entertainment talked about weather, global warming, India TV (the Ekta kapoor type ka news channel).. females on the other end feigned concern(wish they'd have done it a less obvious way) exchanged recipes, talked about their neighbour's second cousin's mother-in-law and how she died of the disease.This reminds me of Bedhab Benarasi's 'chikitsa ka chakkar', a vyangya katha I happened to read in my 10th grade.People are funny. Try observing.

...

I've been spending day and night in a certain cancer hospital for the past few days now , and there you just cannot shut your senses or act ignorant, I saw suffering personified there, masses in pain , where I re-realized nothing is larger than life (cliched, I know) .. everything else seemed so meaningless, so..small. I realised the importance of 'one' life.Today i

feel so void, so helpless.Wish I could contribute..

"I was unhappy that I had no shoes untill I met a man without feet"