Recently we were supposed to get registered for the summer internship,2011.We all reached college, fighting all the odds(well, in a metro), heat, sweat, women (yes), infinite duration journey, fussy auto wallas, street beggars who get you married to a random stranger on the road and bless you both to have kids.Ridiculous, I mean.We all reach the corporate resource centre(flashy but void) of our department with a sense of accomplishment, but before that, a li'l background on how-stuff-works.Getting registered for such a thing is as futile as watching Rakhi ka swayamwar for the heck of it.So, as we enter, theres a white colored lady and an orange man, both bitching about their mothers-in-law (yes,both).Heres how our conversation proceeded-
Us (all smiling and gay): Good Morn Ma'am. We wanted to get registered for the Summer internship.
White lady: (Turning red, dramatically unties her hair, starts looking like Durga,the goddess) WHAT THE PHHAAACCCKKK.HOW ARE YOU GUYS EVEN ALIVE? MANN
Us: Umm, water and oxygen and well, other million things. Why do you ask?
WL: FOOLS, Don't you know getting registered is the most important thing on earth, forget global warming, stop saving water; hypocrites do that,fuck non-renewable sources of energy.Corruption? Who cares? We're all corrupted.Baba Ramdev? Who is he? Government? Ahh.. why would we bother, it's a sucking monarchy.F*** y'll , YOU DID NOT GET REGISTERED YET? HOW DARE YOU?
Us: But Ma'am. We have a democracy.Err..As in, we didn't know about the registration and bla bla *regular excuses* (We're all thinking, is it that big a deal? )
WL (her blood boils and she's about to transform into spiderman, from the looks of it) OMG you guys are foolishness personified.GOD WHY, WHY ME
Us: Ma'am .. umm (we're all numb and confused and standing motionless looking dumb) Could you tell us the exact procedure to get registered? I mean c'mon.Big deal. Cut the crap and Shoot.
WL: You guys should commit suicide.Seriously.
Us: Any other option?
WL: Pay 500 Rs, late registration fine .
Us: Ahh, now you're talking.
After getting abused by a dozen other men, we get back,
Us: Here's the receipt.
WL:( I see a 500 ka note in her eyes, she starts gleaming).MORONS, get a life next time.GO DIE NOW.
Us: The registration?
WL: It's Done.
Us: Don't you maintain records or make us sign somewhere?
WL: HELL NO, GET THE HELL OUT OF HERE, y'll are registered now.Waise bhi I'm a random stranger.Don't work here.Just filling the gap.
We were all unarmed and silently moved out.Thanking god (yes,god) that no one else was around and we are all breathing.
P.S : The Orange man was Ekta Kapoor's make-my-life-spicier b****.
2 comments:
Errr no offence but that sounds more like a bad acid trip than anything else!!
*very few* things have been exaggerated for humor ofcourse. But that day was a real pain :(
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