Life

I'm sad for a reason I fear to introspect. My initial years of life were fairly futile, exploring this world was quite a process. I grew up only to learn, what I had interpreted was all wrong, and I felt stupid. I didn't know there was a world beyond that garden, I didn't know every smiling face had another side to it, I didn't know flowers too are artificial and butterflies too, die. I didn't know then, happiness is material. I entered my teenage, thought I’d grown up, I understand life and people like others, had some difficulty adjusting, With myself, the way I changed, physically, biologically, psychologically, emotionally, I thought now I understand things and didn't listen to people, who claimed they care. And I fell prey to a couple of people/situations. I learnt ignorance isn't bliss. T’ was then that I decided to grow up, t ’was then that I promised myself that I’ll take care of myself and bring my life back on track , take initiatives , I resolved to be strong , I promised myself that I’ll never allow anyone to take my advantage., no matter what. I was all geared up with such thoughts, but as someone said, we promise according to our hopes and act according to our fears. That happened, one more incident, and I’m back to level zero. How’d one feel when a soothing light at the end of the tunnel turns out to be a freight train coming their way ? It was a pause more dynamic than motion, life had deformed me , and every passing day I kept changing, over the years I grew selfish, vice , turned into a hypocrite , became evil but so was the world , I was just being indifferent, trying to adjust. But one thing I learnt and know now that this is one life, you have a duty and probably the gift of living. You got to play your part and get back to the grave. You do not have the right to quit, escape or step back. Everyone is entangled with their own cob webs. I think I’ll manage to sail through, will you?

p.s. I know the ending is abrupt. Couldn't help it.