Independence

My first memories of this word dates back to my 7th grade(or 8th) ,the history text, I didn't bother to know more.I was happy mugging up dates for our struggle for independence without giving it a thought.Since i have decided, not to play the blame game, t'was me and not the education system of our country which made my horizons soo narrow that i couldn't think outside the realms of that 200-paged book.I come to think of it today(not exactly), independence has a meaning beyond the texts. The word re-surfaced when i told my dad 5 years back to get a 5-star crunchy at 10 in the night, and blatantly he refused.. it was not a matter of life or death, although yet that was one of my earliest encounters with that feeling. And, i couldn't do anything about it. Nothing. Again, when my teen-aged self begged my parents to seek permission for a certain party and yet another time a 'no' without an explanation.Sheer incidents. Didn't matter much though, introduced me to this word 'independence' again. Driving gave me that physical independence i always craved for, I just didn't know in what form it'll come across .I wish i had lived in that pre independence era and get a first-hand experience (Second thoughts, no ..not at that cost :| ) Today, in introspection i realize i do not care much about physical independence. You grow up and the meaning of words change. As, i grew.. I wanted to be financially independent more than anything else in my life. Sometime back, i felt indebted to the entire world. Strangely, at 19 I was in a state of shock realising that i was still, after so many years of my existence, below the poverty line.Then, i looked around(no one seemed to care) and moved on. I had no preliminary degree in hand, with no scope/source to get a fake one. Subdued that thought, came back to my careless self. At present, i want emotional independence, no Tom Dick or Harry can control my moods, and induce other insignificant emotions. Nor, should they disturb my state of , what i call as 'shapeless ease' or stability. But alas, none of this happens , my li'l sister with a primitive brain can understand rocket science but Einstein too wouldn't have understood how the brain works, its hell difficult to control our thought processes.Of all the three kinds of independences I've encountered in my life, emotional independence is the most challenging one. A li'l time, a li'l evolution. And I'm sure I'll be able to control it. Till then I'm sorry for the people i'm highly dependent on, people i wouldn't want to name. But as my brother says, "And this too shall pass away.."

p.s-The incidents mentioned above can be pure fictitious (just wanted to convey the idea; I was never this materialistic :| )

-My friend helped me edit some parts, thank you S.

-I didn't bother to refer to the dictionary for spell checks. If i did make a mistake. Please ignore.