Fooled By Randomness

I was told to write about our very own Delhi, I thought rather than the bitchiness and the cliched negativity associated with it, I'd write about everything I like love about Delhi.I'd write for people and spread-the-positivity crap. When I completed the write-up, I was told it looked like wikipedia with emotions.I read it all again only to find,it did ! I wrote about some awesome places and monuments here and ended it with an emotional nostalgic note.It looked funny to me later. I've always abhorred the barbaric masses ,one should be taught to shut up and behave themselves.The buses and the roads are awesome, people in it and on it are tards .I've come across many people from different parts of our country, talk about, how screwed and vice, Delhi is.And I would always, almost get impulsively disgusted hearing things.I've always lived in denial.Now, I know it’s not Delhi, it's the people. We are not going global, we're all behaving like a 5 year-old ill mannered kid.  You don't believe me? Drive for an hour here, you'd know you're in Delhi when people are ready to shoot you on your face because you were *about to* hit their vehicle. When, more than Hindi, English or any other language, you'd get to hear, 'Saala BC'. When toddlers play the dude saying, 'you talking to me? talk to the hand.'(personal experience). You know you're in Delhi when you see children, more on streets begging, than in schools.Not to forget,they get you hitched to an absolutely random stranger and bless you to have kids. It's plain sad. .I know not what is up with people, what is so wrong? Why can't even the adults behave? Leave aside, the teens, they're a different class altogether. That reminds me, read this article, does everything sound cliched? Are you surprised? why/why not?The statistics ofcourse are exaggerated,but I’m surprised by the fact that I wasn’t surprised. Here in Delhi, kids learn the lesson of relationships before division and subtraction.I can’t write anything that is beyond me, anything that is pseudo-optimistic, I am pretty f***ed up, you know why?

The Delhi Metro : I have never seen anything made from the scratch and making a revolution in itself,an engineering marvel.A blessing to the delhiites. But, the commuters? What is up with them? You’re a Phd? Masters in Computer sciences? You know economics? Awesome..But you can’t behave yourself in the public, screw yourself. Seriously. I’ve realized, education is useless. We’ve built nations, we develop technologies. We innovate, we ideate but alas, we’ve grown from ape to ape-like masses. If you know what I mean.Coming back to the point.If you’re in the womens’ coach in the metro rail,you’re surrounded by wolly mammoth, quite literally, aunties who would even sparkle in the black hole,given their shimmery orange suits and gold make-up .Well, that’s their business ,they’d tell you to adjust thinking their body weight is as small as the time, Chandrachoor Singh stayed in the industry.And within 23 nanoseconds they’re on your lap, not to forget the difference between your body weights is well, infinity.Then you get embarrassed and your tissues start dying, you choose to get up, instead.As you stand,a kid, whose mother got married when she was 10 and gave birth at 11 and knows shit about parenting, comes to you and starts pulling your bag unless he manages to disbalance you and add to your frustration, the mother stands there smiling, thinking the damn kid is cuteness personified. That moment, my friends, you can’t do anything but smile at the kid in helplessness  wanting to slap him so tight as if you are Rakhi Sawant and the kid, her ex .Your home is another 20 stations to go, you decide to text your friend, and as you type, some 20 females around, start peeping at your phone’s display so desperately as if we are all guys and watching some,well forget it. It finally gets awkward and you keep the darn thing in your pocket. Simultaneously, the female standing just adjacent to you is checking you out from tip to toe and her expressions look like you’re wearing purple tee with green jeans and yellow footwears. The woman next to you wants to hold the handle very badly given the fact, if she falls it’ll take her centuries to rise again.So, she doesn’t understand the concept of personal space and is so close to you as if she’s the pda guy but hold on, 'ma’am why can’t you take a shower atleast before boarding? Is it too much to ask for?Or wear a deo? And since I see some space there, would you please shift, I’m very very straight and I donot like your body touching mine in whichever way.' You’re still struggling for a place to fit in, when suddenly a girl in her teens start shouting at her guy on the phone.No,she cannot do it in isolation.She has to do it in public.She's probably practicing to participate in the Jerry Springer show.Whatever,it is,pda is tolerable,public display of aggression,isn't. You wish, you could kill her vocal cords and tie her to the men’s loo of the Rajiv Chowk metro station till her nostrils cry for help.Nothing personal against her, though.In fact, dear readers, Metro is an ideal example of the Darwin’s Survival of the fittest, they’ll walk on the dead if needed. They’ll slaughter you for a space.That said,look what my friend says,here.So precise,ain't it? I feel light now, and yet another time, owing to my incompetence to end my posts, I'd leave it with a rough end.My apologies.
Cheers!